Ramblings in lieu of sleeping

I started to read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone a few months before the first movie came out. I had trouble with the first chapter, with getting into the story. Something kept me reading, however, and by the time I was finished I was hooked.I remember being excited by the alchemical references (alchemy being an interest of mine) and impressed and entertained by the intricacy of the wizarding world, even in the first book when it was not nearly so developed as it has become. I adored Dumbledore, loathed Snape, hated Malfoy, and came away from the experience desperate to know more about the lot of them.Lucky for me, I began reading the series with four books already published, and I devoured the rest with an intensity I had not known since my love affair with Jane Austen a few years earlier. I wanted to know everything; who Voldemort really was, what Harry's scar meant, where Ron lived . . . everything. I was not disappointed . . . until I reached the end of Book Four and realized that I now had to wait. I reread and reread as I do the books I really love, and soon I could recite whole scenes. I began to wonder about Snape's history, and began to suspect certain things that turned into theories, some of which were corroborated when Book Five was published. I began to enjoy Malfoy's snarky remarks, and even agree with a few. But Malfoy's the villain! I told myself. Snape's an oily jerk! Myself didn't listen. I don't know when exactly the books became all about Malfoy and Snape for me, but they have. I think it's because of my pre-existing love of Byronic heroes, and those two are certainly on their way to becoming just that (they have all the symptoms, shall we say). It's getting increasingly difficult to hold this opinion about Draco,, though . . . Book Five Malfoy is depressingly similar to his thrice-dratted father--with one important exception. Draco elicits a certain amount of pity from me . . . Lucius emphatically does not.I It's the same with Snape: I empathize with Snape-the-teenager infinitely more than with James-the-teenager, or even Harry-the-teenager, really. I care about them because they in a sense need someone to care about them. Harry doesn't really need my sympathy, he's got the Weasleys, Dumbledore, and the whole of Gryffindor house, not to mention the whole of Hogwarts (minus Slythies) behind him. Snape and Malfoy don't have anyone.You could argue that Draco has his "gang" and his parents, but I would dispute it if you did. Having subordinates is not the same as having friends, and Draco's parents care more about Draco's duty as a son than about him personally (IMHO). As for Snape, friendship seems to have always been about power for him, in the same way, perhaps, as Peter Pettigrew. He joined the Death Eaters for protection against the James Potters and Sirius Blacks of the world, and how sad is that? Dumbledore trusts him and defends him, but treats him more like a spoiled child than a friend. Much as I like to entertain the thought of a friendship between McGonaghall and Snape, I think the movie is clouding my judgement there. Maybe, though, there is a sort of rivalry between them that is more friendly than either of them knows. I hope. I like to think that. But I wouldn't bet on it.

The Great Closet Clean-Out 2004

Yep, it's that time again. Time to clean out le boudoir de moi, starting with that most upsetting, emotion-stirring, and memory-ridden of spaces: the closet. *cue scary music* What on earth made me venture into and presume to tame that cavernous black hole, that collection of odds, ends, and dilapidated T-shirts that I haven't gone through since the eighth grade, you ask? Well, it all began, as most of my projects do, with a book. Ready to Wear: An Expert's Guide to Choosing and Using Your Wardrobe, written by Mary Lou Andre, to be exact. As a person who loves to be given guidelines for proper organization (priggish little pedant that I am), it's manna. Yeah, from there.So in a fury of enthusiasm I began. I've spent the last three hours sorting through every single thing in my closet. Some things surprised me (I have thirteen pairs of jeans, for one . . . o_O Who knew?) and some things didn't (I have way too darn many T-shirts). Anyway, prodigious digging and reminiscing and a bit of disgust at some of my teenage tastes (jelly shoes--gah!) ensued, and I finally reached the back of the closet, or should I say the sad-ripped-things graveyard. Adios, old high school t-shirts. You served me well, but it is time to say farewell (is it strange that I now have the chant "Now is the time, let her go in peace" chant from The Craft running through my head? Yeah, probably) Long may you . . . biodegrade.One more thing: I've decided to pitch the funeral dress. It just seems morbid to have it lurking around in the back of the closet, insidiously influencing things. Bad karma. BEGONE!! *does the closet-cleaning dance* Ahhhhh . . . I feel better already.To all those with messy closets: TAG, you're it!!

hmmm

Is it mean to want to ask the nice fundamentalist Christian bookstore lady if they by any chance carry Harry Potter? Future reference for those who owe me gifts (or just feel generous or something) We wants it, yes precious . . . . Is that not just the neatest thing since sliced bread? Methinks it is.

*is only doing this because bored*

1) Your HP nickname: Lady Relaynie mostly. To a few, Rey.2) Do you write fanfiction: Some.3) Draw fanart: Some. 4) Review much: not too much, no5) Read too many fics: no, I read just the right amount DUH6) Favorite house: no favorite7) Favorite Gryffindor student: the twins8) Favorite Slytherin student: Draco Draco Draco9) Favorite Ravenclaw student: Luna Lovegood10) Favorite Hufflepuff student: Hannah Abbott, I guess--Ernie and Justin get on my nerves.11) Favorite teacher: McGonaghall12) Favorite overall character: Draco Malfoy13) Favorite adult: Severus Snape14) Canon/fanon Draco: Both. I get frustrated with canon!Draco about as often as I get frustrated w/fanon. Fanon!Draco has things to do besides be Lucius, Jr., which is a Good Thing (tm). But Canon!Draco has the advantage of being the original.15) Canon/fanon Snape: Canon. I only like Fanon!Snape when I'm in the mood for pRon.16) Voldemort or Dumbledore: Dumbly-dore. Voldemort is racist bigot from hell.17) Cho, annoying or not: rather annoying (Madam Puddifoot's, anyone?)Shipping: 18) Your OTP: Draco/Harry mostly, but allows for Draco/just about anyone19) Other ships you sail: Draco/Ginny, Draco/Hermione, Ron/Hermione, Sirius/Remus, Harry/Luna20) Intruiging ships: Snape/anybody, Marauderfic, well-written anything, really.21) Disliked ships: um . . . Snape/Harry (unless very intelligently written), Harry/Hermione (too obvious), Percy/anyone (not happy with Percy at the mo).22) Ships hated with a passion (erm... this is optional :X): Bellatrix/anyone. Hello, she's a NUTJOB, not a pleasantly eccentric hottie.23) Het, slash or femmeslash: Het and slash. Not much femmeslash.24) H/Hr or R/Hr: Ron/Hermione, thanks.25) D/Hr or D/G: If I had to choose between them, Draco/Ginny all the way.26) H/D or H/SS: Harry/Draco OTP, but H/SS in certain moods.27) Older gen, younger gen or cross-gen: doesn't usually matterFanfiction:28) Canon or AU: Canon preferably, but AU if genuinely intriguing.29) Fluff or angst: full-on angst lover30) Darkfic: depends. a nice gothic mood is okay, bloodplay is not.31) OOC or IC: in-character unless there's a very very good reason for it to be otherwise.32) SuddenlyVeryPowerful!Harry: Passe but potentially entertaining33) One-shot or chaptered: depends how much time I have34) Novel-length: number one cause of sleepless nights35) Gen, het or slash: Dunno what gen is, but het or slash is great.36) Drabbles: love37) SuddenlyVerySexy!Draco: fun for everyone (but hey, isn't that an oxymoron anyway?)38) Fanfiction Pet Peeves: Immature NC-17. yep, that's pretty covers it.39) Canon or Fanon: both40) Many ships in one fic: eh . . . which ships?Books:59) Cried for Cedric: teared up, but didn't cryCried for Sirius: like a baby61) Dark or Light Side: light62) Did the explanation of the prophecy satisfy you: not really. it seemed like common knowledge, not a prophecy. I have complete confidence it will turn out to be more, however.63) Which character needs some more development: DRAAAAAACOOOOOOOOO!!! Make him evil, I don't care, just make him DO something! Give him a reason to exist, I beg you, Jo!Fanart:64) Favorite artist(s): lots of people. My absolute favorite picture of Draco EVER was drawn for the Draco Trilogy, and has the initials LMR on it. This artist has also done beautiful pictures of the twins and Bill. I think they might be on the HP Lexicon, but I could be wrong. 65) Favorite drawing style: realism appreciated, pencil, ink. not averse to other forms though.66) Love fanart of: scenes from the book, different characters, places67) Fanart Pet Peeves: no pet peeves as such. I don't much like anime or chibi drawings, but that's just me.68) Stick art. depends69) Shiny: never had a picture shine at me . . . *looks at author of quiz with weird look on face*70) Anime/Manga style: not much into, except occasionally71) Realism: love72) Cartoon: occasionally works3) Gen or shipped: Both. Misc.:74) Blaise's gender: I didn't care much before, and now that it's confirmed as Male, and I still don't care.75) Tom Riddle's eye colour: dunno, just dark76) Luna fan: I like Luna.77) OC's, done or not done: No. 78) Liking Weasley ships with 'Flame' or 'Fire' in the name: depends on the fic. Fire and Ice is D/G, right? Yes, that.79) Weasley love: the twins are fun together80) Malfoy love: Draco/anyone, baby. Lucius is a bastard and does not deserve love.81) Potter love: Lily/James, sure. Harry/Lily or James? no way.82) Is Lucius really 49: No. It says quite clearly in OotP that he is 41. (blushes as realizes that she sounds like a gigantic nerd, knowing that)83) Brilliant ship name (Don't need to ship it, though!): I don't know ship names . . .84) Plain stupid ship name: See above. 85) Voldemort. Bald. Yes or no: yes. if he's got hair it's done by Gollum's hairdresser.86) The power He-Knows-Not and the power that saved Harry is: I think it's love, possibly compassion.87) Your view on Hufflepuff-ies: I like Hufflepuffs . . . I think I AM a Hufflepuff.88) Should Ron say 'Bloody Brilliant' more then once?: in the movies? no. Repeat after me, Mike Newell: Ron does not have to say the word "bloody" in every film!89) Hermione. Pretty. Am I right: I think she's pretty in the way that nice people are pretty. Also, she apparently cleans up well enough (Yule Ball).90) Best HP fanfic ever: Draco Trilogy, by virtue of being the first I ever read . . . still the best.91) Rec the 2nd best, too: Urm . . .well, it's not necessarily the best, but I remember one Draco/Ginny. Something to do with grey sweaters. *loves*92) Did HP change your life dramatically: nah.93) Marauders. Like or dislike: ehm . . . dislike fifteen-year-old Marauders. Of the two currently remaining, I love Moony. Wormtail SUUUUCKS.94) Prongs, Moony, Padfoot or Wormtail: Moony. Padfoot. Don't know enough about Prongs at this point to like him.95) Could Lily have been an animagus too: I don't know why . . . she didn't particularly like the Marauders when they were learning it.96) What animal Lily would've been: I don't know . . . a fox?97) Did Harry pass his Potions' OWL's : I suspect yes, because he needs to remain in contact with Snape.98) Did Ron: I somehow don't think so.99) Is Harry going to die or will he survive: I think he'll live.100) What gives you the most warm fuzzies in your stomach in the whole HP-verse: in the whole HP-verse, movies included, I love Hogwarts at Christmas, the most.Bonus question: 101) Did you like this survey: yeah, I suppose.

Eowyn Challenge

PIMP.As a friend was kind enough to point out to me, my commitment to this makes me a dork. I readily agree. But as my mother said when I told her about it, "Hey, whatever works."

Odd mood tonight

First, required reading.Second, I have always envied people who have "little black dresses" or their equivalent. They seem to be symbols of a woman's sexual power, a way of owning one's sexuality in a safe and controlled way. I do have a black dress, but my sexuality is (I hope) the last thing it symbolizes. Maybe I should tell you a bit about my dress.It belonged to my sister first. She wore it in High School, when she was the coolest person I'd ever known and the snappiest dresser since Madonna. When she went off to college, she left some of her clothes behind, most of which I unabashedly stole. She eventually stole them back, of course, but not that dress. It languished in the back of my closet, and I enjoyed the thought of having a "little black dress", even if I had nowhere to wear it. Fast forward to my senior year. The dress remained in the back of my closet, in an odd way mirroring my relationship with my sensual self. I was seventeen, studious, and antisocial (or so my mother said). It waited for a purpose . . . any purpose. And then it got one.My grandfather died in January, and my "little black dress", the only black thing I had to wear, was trotted out to serve as a funeral dress. Little did I know that a "funeral dress" was exactly what it would become. To date I have worn the funeral dress five times, and its conventional use has, for the moment, passed into the grey area that is my social life. It's really kind of funny, in a horrible way, how much that sums up my love life, really. Borne up on thin hopes and romanticism, only to die several coldly final deaths. Bloody Hell. I need a drink.

YUP (otp)

What DT pairing are you going to write?
Name DOB Favourite Color DT character #1 HarryDT character #2 Draco
This quiz by slanted_truth - Taken 13 Times.</a>New - COOL Dating Tips and Romance Advice!

Random Act of Livejournaling (otherwise known as spammage)

Watching Jack Davenport's character, Steve, become a father on Coupling is the sweetest thing I've seen in a loooooooong time. It was one of those shows that leave me squealing and grinning and hopping up and down in my seat like an idiot. I love those kind. Always have. Like the episode of Roswell in which Michael runs away from his abusive foster father and goes to Maria's house. Or near the end of the movie Nine Months when Hugh Grant walks around cradling his baby in a very fetching white T-shirt. Or when Arwen and Aragorn see each other for the first time since Rivendell at Aragorn's coronation in Return of the King. I get this rush of just . . . well, happiness and gushiness, I guess. Then I stop and think . . . damn, I really am a woman.And then I smile.

Meme meme memity meme (gacked from sincelastjuly

Wearing: new peach lacy pajamas from my grandmotherHair: just washed, wild woman of Borneo-ishMakeup: not a bitAte today: pickle, spaghetti, fish, corn, and lots of tea.Thing last said: "Does Peeky want to go sleep with Daddy?" to my dog, who loves my dadLast phone call: my great-grandmotherIn your bag: basic bag stuff, keys, wallet, cell phone, eyeglass casePlaying on your iPod: rub it in, why doncha?Desktop picture: picture of Jess and Joe from "Bend it Like Beckham"Last watched on tv: Thirsty Traveler "Gin Joint"Last website visited: my livejournalPlans for today: watch some guys ski on TV for 30 minutes (then it'll be tomorrow)Last thing bought: new makeup and Practical Magic DVDListening to: TVLast showered: about an hour agoLast Y!M: don't have Yahoo Mail . . . I know, but I like living under my rockLooking forward to: EnglandWorst part of the day: circling my grandmother's house trying to figure out a way to get in and let the dogs out to peeBest part of the day: seeing my christmas present from my grandmaFavorite person of the day: hottie boy who cut my grandma's grass without a shirt onThinking about: wine, funnily enoughCurrent annoyance: my perpetual unemploymentCurrent obsession: alcoholic beverages (but NOT to get drunk on, I tell you, NOT! Not even the rum . . . )Random TMI: I have bras hanging to dry in my room . . . did laundry todayFeeling: slightly headachyHearing: some guy make ginger ale snowcones with real snow . . . hope it wasn't yellow

It's SarDO! No Mr., accent on the -do !

Aaaaand . . . I've decided I'm mostly heterosexual, and completely normal also since no one is completely one or the other (I've heard, anyway). Took several heart-to-hearts, self-searching and a few memories of a certain male professor's fascinating and beautiful hands (and the resulting fantasies which made it VERY hard to concentrate on Brave New World) to figure it out, but I feel better about it now. Let's see, what else . . . the gay marriage amendment didn't pass, halleluiah. Reading Senator Boxer's speech on the subject made me proud to be an American for once . . . the world makes sense again. (for now anyway) Woohah! Also, I love Alton Brown. I have always loved Alton Brown. However, I love him infinitely more since I discovered his blog, and read about his anathema for Dr. Phil (which I share) and his belief that Martha Stewart is a bit of a hottie. *loves*He had to go to the hospital recently, poor lamb. But he's better now, and has motorcycle in tow. Fun. He's such a cutie.Also have discovered that I sort of dig the gray haired guy who invented the new vacuum thingie . . . you know, the one who "was vacuuming at home one weekend, and was really amazed at the lousy suction" ? I like gray hair on men . . . when did this happen? But yeah . . . Doug on Trading Spaces and Nick on the Stephen King movie "Rose Red" also. Heh.

Semantics and gayness

(subtitled: actual semi-philosophical deep post for once *gasps*)Okay. I've been thinking about this for some time now, and I've decided to post about it. I have a question.How, exactly, does one know when one is gay?Like, if you reeeallly reeeaaallly like guys a lot, and think about them most of the time, but you sorta kinda occasionally have a thing for certain girls too . . . does that mean you're bisexual? Gay? Straight? Confused? (All of the above?)I keep going around and around about this, and I convince myself I've figured this out about myself, and then something happens to confuse me all over again.The deal is, I like guys. There is no doubt about that. I can spend inordinate amounts of time staring at pictures of them, and have been known to buy men's magazines on the basis of them being on the front cover. (*coughcough*Viggo Mortensen*coughcough*) I've been boy-crazy most of my life, always having a crush on somebody (until I got out of high school and realized there was a bit more to life, that is). I like watching Diego Luna gyrate on the Havana Nights trailer, and I strongly suspect that Pirates of the Caribbean would not be quite such a favorite were it not for Johnny, Jack, and Orlando, respectively.But. Occasionally, I find myself infatuated with particular women in movies. Parminder Nagra is one--I think she's just beautiful. I loved Bend It Like Beckham because of her, and I was excited when I found out she was in Ella Enchanted. (Incidentally, John Rhys-Meyers is hot in that as well, but while I like Keira Knightley as an actress, she doesn't do much for me. . . see my problem?) Also, there's a rather terrible Kirsten Dunst movie called Deeply that has this beautiful girl in it, who is sort of sad and exotic, and I'm fascinated by her. She's what I want to be. And . . . if I were ever to kiss a girl, she's the only one I wouldn't say "hell no" to. Jesus, confession time.Does that make me gay? Come on, Flist, help me out. (and anyone else who happens to be reading, of course). Whether you're gay, bisexual or straight, how did you know you were that particular orientation? I've heard from several people that they knew from a very young age, and I was definitely straight growing up. Then I started reading slash and now I'm all confused. Crap. If I was a man I'd just be gay and leave it at that.Summary: I definitely like men, but I'm starting to wonder if I like women too. Therefore, crisis. Help please.*waits for comments*